Saturday, March 19, 2016

I Want..., Geisa Lais Corbitt


The Sandwich 
By Geisa Lais Corbitt

A business woman, ELSIE LYONS, 36, with a black, ruffle front pant suit, is sitting and paging through a menu while scanning the diner’s patrons and their meals. A tall, brunette, WAITRESS, 28, with large gold hoop earrings skips happily over to the beat-up, plastic-coated booth where ELSIE is anxiously waiting.

I want... what she’s having. The girl... over there... in the green sweater, next to that jukebox-looking thing.

You mean the 1930s Art Deco cigarette machine?

Yeah, that... can I get that?

The cigarette machine?
No, what the girl is having.
WAITRESS (confused)
I don’t really know what she’s having, but we have a special today. Um, tuna salad on focaccia with a side of crunchy slaw and...

ELSIE (through gritted teeth)
Of course you don’t know what she’s having. 


ELSIE (huffily)
The girl... in the green sweater, remember?

No, I don’t remember what she’s having. I didn’t take her order... or maybe I did, wait, yes, yes... I did take her order when she was on the phone with her boyfriend or some person she kept referring to as “twinkles”... probably a bedroom name or maybe it was her grandmother; like a cute name she gave her as a child or...

ELSIE (holds her hand up)

OKAY! ALRIGHT!ELSIE is annoyed and shuts the menu. She checks her watch.

I’m sorry, look, I’m sort of in a hurry and the girl in the green sweater sitting near the juke—

--1930s Art Deco—

YES, I know... cigarette machine... she looked like she had something tasty on her plate and by the look on her face she was enjoying it and I thought it looked good too and can you just bring that to me... please?

WAITRESS (chuckles lightly)
Uh... I can’t bring that to you. 

I can’t... that would be stealing now, wouldn’t it?

Whaa... are you? Are we? Uh... is there a camera I should be smiling for or something?

WAITRESS (leans in close to ELSIE)
You look pretty, and smart, you know, like pretty smart. I just thought you would know that that is basically stealing. You know, like taking her plate from her?

ELSIE (face palms and slowly slides her hand down her face)

Um, yes... okay, first off, thank you for the “pretty smart” compliment, I think... 

Oh! Welcome!

... yeah and I think you might need help. Seriously.

Oh, no we are fully staffed here. We have a really great staff. All of us are either students at the community college or people who’ve worked here for-ev-er! Like Tracks... the short order cook. He’s been here for, like, a million years. Yeah, went through a terrible divorce, left his kids, remarried, divorced again, I mean... the works. But, he makes the BEST corned beef sandwiches you’ve ever tasted in the whole world, I swear. It’s amazing what he can do and this one time, after his first wife left the house one night, he comes to the kitchen and...

ELSIE (mockingly)
Sandwiches? He makes sandwiches? Oh my Gawd... wow... like, I just can’t believe it!

Yeah, he makes sandwiches; the best EVER. Do you want me to put in an order for you?

ELSIE (Head in hands, defeated)

No, I’ll just take a pack of Marlboro Lights from the jukebox. 



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